adventures in a sloth-like existance

We went to a free base-ball game in Baltimore thanks to Pine & Gilmore and the ThinkAbout anti-conference. It was super fun!

1997 HONDA CIVIC - FOR SALE
(By Cathy Vanderlaan)

Great condition. New brakes. Standard. 4-cylinder. Two door hatchback.

$5100

Email me if you want more info! Money will go support a YWAM missionary.

For the next 5 or so months, check out my YWAM blog for updates:

http://ywamadventures.blogspot.com

Thanks!

The sunlight flickers through the trees like an old 16mm projector showing a film of the sky. As we drive by at 100km an hour, the world is a blur and the only thing constant is the morning Sun. The soft blue of the sky is politely interrupted by wispy clouds just above the treetops. The clouds themselves seem drowsy. Maybe they were up late chasing stars. By noon they’ll be all over the sky.

As we drive I think about people. We are on our way to church. Perhaps I should be thinking about God on my way to church but right now I’m thinking about people.

It’s interesting that all people are inherently flawed right from birth. I say it’s interesting not because it’s anything new, but because sometimes I feel lots of people aren’t flawed at all and I am. It’s weird to think about the faces at church, you know, the people who are always so nice and friendly even when you know they had a bad week. The people who offer to drive you home in a blizzard. They don’t seem as flawed as I am inside.

Recently I’ve been thinking about sin. About whether or not some sins are worse than others. If sin is essentially not relying on God for things, then the opposite of sin must be trust.

When I think about things like murders, suicide, wars, racism, I can’t help but wonder what I’d have done in their place. If I’d lived their life, would I have pulled the trigger too? Am I any better then the guy I see on TV hiding his face from the camera as he is escorted into court? I’ve never killed anyone, but I’ve never been tempted to kill anyone either. I’ve never beaten anyone but I’ve never been beaten either.

We live in a world where evil is relative. One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter. One man’s rescuer is another’s enemy.

If two men shoot each other at the same moment, one because he is protecting his family, and the other because he is angry, they are both still killers. God says not to kill. Does it matter to God why we kill someone? Does it matter to God why we smoke drugs, get drunk, get in a fight, hurt someone, or even kill someone or ourselves? Does a good reason make it right? Or does it matter more to him that the real reason we are doing these things is because we don’t trust Him?

Can it possibly be inside God’s plan for your life that you take another person’s life? Or even hurt them? Or simply reject them?

Did Jesus ever kill someone?

If someone kills us, does that mean they should die?

Did Jesus attack the Romans when they tortured and killed Him?

I miss my Papa a lot today. It all started when I was playing my guitar this morning and saw his picture on the wall. I began to play to him and wrote him a little melody. No words, just the feeling of the chords.

I remembered a small music box that had been his, which now sits on my shelf. I brought it down and began to crank it over and over, letting the music dance into my ears and sweep around my head. The theme to Romeo and Juliet was a fitting ballad of love and loss. Both hopeful and tragic.

Afterward I went outside to crochet and lay on the hammock in the shade. Along the highway walked an old gentleman in a hat. He rather hobbled along, as if each step pained him. All at once I saw my Papa walking along the road as he used too when he came to visit.

I sometimes wonder if these days are a gift from God even though it hurts us. I wonder if its better to remember someone and cry, then it is to not remember them at all.

Vast expanses of darkness, punctuated by moments of pure light. Is this the dark expanse of space, or the depths of the human soul? Is this a cosmic minefield of stars being born, or the deepest of memories?

Light and dark compete for supremacy in everything we see. Night falls at the end of each day, thinking it has finally won. Dark cannot exist with light, so it only exists when light retreats. It can only exist when light allows it too.

The darkness rejoices each night in its victory, at long last darkness may consume the world.

I often wonder what Adam thought during the very first night (Eve probably wasn’t around because Adam had to name all the animals before she was created). He must have wondered what was going on. The only thing he had ever known was light.

This leads me to wonder what it felt like the first time pain entered their worlds. I say “their” because Eve was around by then. The only thing they had ever known was light (light being beauty, truth, and intimacy with God and each other).

Something else I think about is how Adam and Eve must have felt about each other after they are driven from the garden. It mentions that they are distanced from God, but I believe that Sin also distanced them from each other. Until that time, their union would have been flawless and fulfilling. Then Sin entered the picture, and took perfect away.

I wonder if Eve ever threatened divorce. Probably not, because the concept hadn’t been invented yet, but the principle I believe is true. It must have been the loneliest feeling in the world. Not only were they cut off from God, but also from the only other person on the entire planet.

I bet you when darkness fell for the first time and Adam and Eve fell for the first time, Adam cried out to God, “Will this darkness ever go away?”

Just as the retreating light allows darkness to exist for a time in mock victory, God allows darkness to exist for a time.

At nighttime the darkness allows the world to rest. Plants have shelter from the Sun. Humans sleep, tucked away cozily in their beds. Animals retreat into their burrows and curl up.

When darkness falls upon us of a different sort, the opposite happens. Humans can’t sleep. Instead of resting in patience we demand God make it light again.

Both kinds of darkness only exist because they have a purpose and God allows them to exist.

The Sun rises every morning without fail, because the light has been in charge all along.

It must be frustrating to be darkness, to always think you’ve won and then be overtaken by light again, your sworn enemy. I say it must be frustrating because this encourages me, because I get so frustrated with the darkness.

The first time night fell over Eden, I imagine Adam got a pretty quick response from God to his question, because Adam and God were pretty tight. But when he asked the same question about being driven from the Garden and into the dark world of pain, I think it might have been harder for him to hear God’s answer.

Imagine being the first two people to Sin, ever. You think you feel guilty? He would have come to God, not able to make eye contact, but still hoping for an answer.

“When will this darkness go away?” God would have answered perhaps in a whisper, after Adam had waited a while, “The Darkness will go away, in My time.”

CATHARINE E. VANDERLAAN: currently on assignment in Austria, investigating these burning questions: Are the hills really alive? If so, what songs have they sung for a thousand years? Do the hills fill your heart, with the sound of music?

All this and much more will finally come to light when she returns later this week. Stay tuned...

This is currently my favorite picture of Cathy and I chose it because it illustrates how beautiful, loyal, gentle, and caring she is. It's a picture of her personality; how she wraps her arms around me and protects me (sometimes litterly, other times figuratively). Being with Cathy is one of the safest places in the world.

P.S. It's not me in the picture. My hair is still blonde.

There are many adventures to relate but right now I am very tired so I will stick with a picture or two.